Monday, November 30, 2009

Real talk

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "mike" <>
Date: Nov 29, 2009 8:44 PM
Subject: Real talk
To: "Benny blog" <>

Mr  buttons and luci are fucking adorable
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Urban outfitters

Me and tommy are retiring heidi made it.  

From mike

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Dear Spanish store,

That's false advertising.

Friday, November 27, 2009


Make your own assumptions.

Natty Light is tight!

But I've known this since my days of lurking WVU.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Sabrina and I hate our families so we're sharing this instead.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Not even close

It's hard for me to believe that at one point i was semi-stoked on this happening in our city. I used to say, "It's about time real world is in DC" but a few months into the filming i totally lost interest and even forgot that the jock, the gay dude, the bitch, the black guy, and whatever the other token characters they have where lurking the streets of DC. I saw a it pop up on twitter that the show would be airing soon and decided to check out the trailer. I'd like to sum up my review with one simple word we all know and love, LAME. Not even close Mtv, you already let me down.

Case Race 2009!


TEAM 2: New Jersey-Wig-Neck


These three teams had been training for 6 months and it was finally time. MISSION: two people, one case, twelve beers each, your team finishes first you win. Sounds simple? well there were a few rules. 1.) NO shotguns & No beer bongs 2.) there is one designated drinking area and you cannot leave that area with a beer in your hand 3.) when finish a beer u must prove it by turning it upside down on your head to make sure none spills out 4.) NO PUKING!

Team New Jersey-Wig-Neck started off strong, and i mean strong. Three beers under their belts each while The 4EVER YOUNGs were still on two each and Bobby was holding it down on his own waiting for the other half of TEAM POP-TARTS to arrive. To make a long story short The New Jersey-Wig-Necks keep the lead until the end and finished first. We had all excepted our harsh loss when it happened... I entered the bathroom to find not a toilet but a bath tub filled with puke! Walking back out to the living room i saw this...

one half of the New Jersey-Wig-Necks chillin while the other half was knocking on deaths door. hmmmm... i wonder who's twelve bud-lights/chunks of jumbo slice where in the tub? needless to say the NJ-Wig-Necks got the "D.Q." but unfortunately it was to late for the rest of us. When we thought we had already lost we went down to the stoop and made new friends outside which resulted in us sharing our last beer/shorting our case by only ONE EACH!

FINAL RESULT: no winner =(

I guess this means there is going to be a rematch in the near future...

to be continued...

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Dennis System

I used to live my life by this system... I thought I invented it? Anyways, its true and it works... but best of all you can now say catch frases like "he's DENNISin' her." Example: "So Billy, u and Sara getting serious huh?" Billy replied,"nah dude, juss DENNISin' her." Once the Dennis System fails you could always come in with the M.A.C.(Move-in After Completion)... or the magnums and $$HUNDOS$$

Dear benny

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "mike" <>
Date: Nov 19, 2009 5:31 PM
Subject: Dear benny
To: "Benny blog" <>

Your new schedule sucks!!  I'm drinking alone. What happened to p.f.f.p.   You left me hanging.   Tomorrow better be amazing or I'm gonna be shopping for a new bestie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Holy Cullen!!

Legit first name of our shoppers helper guy RIGHT before we're going to see the New Moon sneak peak!!!

Sweet Water Tavern!

Beer Samplers, tumble weed crab cakes and native americans.

Team Edward

Getting STOked for the extra early New Moon premire!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Last of a Dying Breed

Yes its true that they stopped making REAL Sparks with energy(ginseng, guarana, taurine) in fact it has been about, if not a little longer than a year. Yes its true that from time to time we have been known to discover REAL Sparks w/ energy in the light blue can(light blue=diet). But now that I have your attention I would like to state that I am the the last person in the world with not only a REAL orange Sparks but a REAL black Sparks as well. How did i obtain the two rarest items in the universe you ask? Please, let me explain.

My journey began about 3months ago when it became fact that all REAL sparks were extinct shy of some light blue diet ones popping up around town sporadically. It was on the last day of RORYPALOOZA 2 and after having done beer bongs the entire 3hr ride home from The REAL OC i was still ready to go! or "Party Mode" if you will. Arriving back in the city i decided to go to my friend's apartment to keep the party going as usual. I stumbled towards the fridge to grab a delicious Bud-Light only to keep my B.A.C. up enough to avoid death when it happened... as soon as i put my hand on the beer i noticed something much more magnificent. There it was the REAL black Sparks, were my eyes playing tricks on me? NO! i casually asked my friend, "hey, u gunna drink that?" he replied, "nah dude, that's all you... somebody left that shit here." So i took the REAL black Sparks stuffed it in my fanny pack, faked a stomach ache and left immediately. When i got home after a 25 minute shit faced bike ride i placed the magical malt beverage safely in my refrigerator. REAL Black Sparks, CHECK!

For the safety of myself and others i will be changing names and places for this half of my story. FLASH FORWARD to one week ago, My friend "Willy" was having the first of this new monthly parties he will be hosting as DJ at a bar we'll call "IIEF CHIKES". As the night went on and the bottles were becoming empty and the ugly girls were looking more and more attractive i was walking towards the bar for last call when i tripped over some passed out kook on the floor and fell to my knees. To this day i cannot thank that drunk idiot enough, for without him lying in my path causing me to fall i would have never seen that orange and chrome can twinkling in the light behind the bar like it were Edward Cullen on a sunny day. When i saw that the coast was clear i made my move... looking both ways dashing behind the bar grabbing the REAL orange Sparks then stuffing it down the front of pants to disguise it as my second dick. The night was over, we left "IIEF CHIKES" and i was able to black out and time travel home worry free.

So there you have it! You now know how i became the luckiest man on Earth. Please, someone... anyone i dare you to find even one black or orange REAL Sparks+Energy and supply me with photographic evidence. Remember, REAL Sparks have the words "ginseng, guarana, taurine" and a plus sign "+" printed on the can without those two characteristics you are just drinking a smirnoff ice.

No Fat Boy

McApple-Pie-Flurry... new flavor... try it...

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The 4ever Youngs

Mike partied all weekend. I slept all weekend. We're both still gettin it in right now 9pm at Haydee's w/ our ladiessss. Goddamn this mee-he-can band is loud... especially sense there's a newborn baby in the booth next to us.

Sunday Drivers


This is Sarge

9 weeks old, Mr.Buttons come play now before he turns 1year like u and is 250lbs.

Dear Mr. Buttons,

This is Tucker, I want u guys to be friends.

Happy Sunday!

That dude's towing an airplane!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


To get drunky. Its never to early for egg nog, I'll be enjoying this w/ a brand new episode of Always Sunny.

Oh Katy Perry

i don''t know what else to say...

Most tatted

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "mike" <>
Date: Nov 11, 2009 8:09 PM
Subject: Most tatted
To: "Benny blog" <>

aka mikey body suit
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Can't let Mike show me up...

So I drew out my own back piece.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Gonz Cake

Pretty legit!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Bama alert!

They tryin to come get me at my job. They can't catch me I'm to slick like grease.. better yet soul glo

Sunday, November 8, 2009

So, what do u hate?

Roller bladers.... fucking gay.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Jumbo slice and a beer.

When you suburban jorks(jock/dork) leave heaven & hell at 3am somethin like this costs you $9. Mike and I are pre-gaming with this combo at 6:50pm for $2 each. Party Smart.

I'm almost there!

i woke up this morning and w/o adding water or any other "product" i was blessed with this amazing hair like i time traveled back to 1985. I'm so glad I'm growing my hair out, it's like every morning i wake up to a different surprise. I'm seriously thinking about going blond and letting my bangs grow forever.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Street art

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "mike" <>
Date: Nov 3, 2009 8:58 PM
Subject: Street art
To: "Benny blog" <>

Usually I hate street art. But this one is amazing. Keep it up bunny man
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Bed time

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "mike" <>
Date: Nov 2, 2009 10:31 PM
Subject: Bed time
To: "Benny blog" <>

Luci's  eyes are shooting lazors
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Monday, November 2, 2009

Born to lose, built to win.